Why do we put memorials in the hands of funeral directors when there are so many alternatives?
There’s a saying in the funeral industry: “You only have one chance to get it right”. Think about it; with other life events you may have another chance to change something you didn’t like. You may have more than one wedding, but you only have one funeral or memorial.
At RIPPLE, we understand this, which is why we want to make you feel comfortable and present during the planning stage. Traditional funeral homes offer one-size-fits-all options that don’t suit everyone. And funeral directors are not event planners and the process they lead you through may not always be in your best interest.
At RIPPLE, it starts with a conversation where we discuss – with compassion and experience – ways to help you get through one of the most difficult times of your life. Then we fine-tune your wants and needs. We let you know there are options, and it doesn’t have to be in a room in a funeral home with decor from the 50’s where it feels like sadness is being pumped in.
Other lifecycle events have evolved throughout the years but funerals seem to be stuck in a time warp. We don’t have weddings in churches or synagogues as often as we used to; the same should stand for memorials at funeral homes. So RIPPLE separates the two, we have memorial planners whose job it is from the beginning to just that, planning a memorial that sits right with you and your budget.
It’s common knowledge in “The Industry”, that many times after a funeral director is finished with paperwork needed for cremation or burial, they don’t have a whole lot of energy to plan a personalized event. Another friend once asked me 'why do they want you to have the memorial right away?’ I said it can be because it’s easier for them to do it all in one fell swoop; meaning they don’t want you to come back in a month or two, they want to move on with their next “case”. Yes, that is what it is called.
When my friend’s step-father passed away about a year ago, his mother had a service at the funeral home. The home could not schedule the cremation in time for the date chosen and at the memorial, there was an urn at the podium. My friend said “I just kept thinking he’s literally two doors away”.. The point is that it took my friend out of the moment and that is what memorials are about, being in the moment. The memorial should have been scheduled when it was right for the family, not what worked for the funeral home.
The truth is, it’s possible his mother didn’t press for what she really wanted. Many families don’t understand what is necessary and what is optional and because of this many don’t question the funeral home’s decisions; fearful it will cost more. Funeral homes are businesses, not public service companies and frankly there are a lot of smoke and mirrors, such as an urn with no ashes in it.
So at RIPPLE, we do things differently. We connect you with an event planner who has the time, energy and creativity to plan the memorial you want, when you want. If you choose to have it weeks or even months after the death so everyone has advance notice and maybe has time to process the grief a little. You do whatever feels right to you.
We also offer memorials at alternative venues: private rooms at restaurants, outdoor parks or in the privacy of your own home. However if you want to do it the old-fashioned way, we can make it happen at a traditional funeral home – with or without the prop urn.
