Why are secular memorials roped to traditional funeral homes when they can be anywhere we want them to be?

After graduating mortuary school, I did my residency at a very busy Jewish Funeral home. I witnessed religious services, beautifully honoring those who had passed. But these events followed a clear path to follow post mortem. I could see how it marked the event as well as helped families process their grief.

But what happens to the Nones? “Nones” are people who are not tied to any religion in particular but who may still be spiritual, or believe in a higher power. At RIPPLE, we recognize that some people are affiliated with organized religion, while others are not. Our goal is to give everyone the opportunity to say goodbye, to get it right and to do it their way. Not just how the current funeral industry dictates.

The room at a funeral home where services are held is referred to as a “Chapel.” Some funeral directors actually answer the phone – not by saying the name of the home itself – but by saying “Chapel” which is defined as “A place of worship used by a Christian group.” This is an example of the one size fits all, one note that the current industry offers and why RIPPLE is out to change that model. What if I am Buddhist, or agnostic, or atheistic? “Chapel” would not only make me feel uncomfortable rather than a grieving person trying to find a place to memorialize my loved one.

So where do people who are spiritual but not tied to any organized religion go? How do we get what we need to celebrate the person who passed in a meaningful way? How do those who opt for cremation collectively mourn, as Christians do at a funeral home?

RIPPLE has answers to all these questions and more. We feel there are choices, not tenets. You can hold a memorial immediately after a death, or you can take time to get over the initial shock so you are able to be more actively present at the funeral. Memorials can be anywhere. There are no time constraints (unless you’re religious, of course). If you’d rather wait three weeks that is up to you, we are working within your time frame.

Do you really want to be in an old fashioned funeral home, with old men you don’t know in black suits telling you what to say, where to sit, stand and how long your goodbye will be? Those days are mostly unrelatable to how we live now. Unless that feels comforting. If so, we can arrange it. I don’t love the lingering smell of formaldehyde, or the old fashioned feeling one gets in funeral homes but I always liked the mints in crystal bowls.